I did the whole “Wild Pregnancy” thing – no prenatal appointments, no doctor visits, not even a birth plan. I just went with the flow!
The funny thing is, I never once thought, “if I have to transfer to the hospital…”
That thought never crossed my mind. I knew it wasn’t happening no matter what.
I know I went from one extreme to another, but I trusted that if something went wrong, I would feel it and could make decisions from there.
I had contacted a local Birth Keeper to have during birth. Some people thought she was a midwife and would help save the day if something went awry, but she wasn’t. To me, it didn’t matter, because what I wanted to do all along was to birth my baby on my own. The main thing I wanted was for the Birth Keeper to have her neonatal resuscitation, which she did, so I hired her and her doula.
During our meetings, we would talk through my previous fears and birth trauma. I measured myself once, but after that, I decided it didn’t make a difference to me what I measured as. I did, however, take regular blood pressure readings myself and I checked my sugars at home. I read up on some conflicting information about gestational diabetes which made me question the whole thing slightly, especially since I didn’t have diabetes when I wasn’t pregnant. Nonetheless, I continued to monitor my sugars to be on the safe side, but it never got to the point where I required insulin.
This was as far as I went for prenatal care. Aside from this, I made sure to never put myself in any situation that made me feel stressed. I stayed away from certain friends and family, and wouldn’t share details with people that I felt would stress me out. It was during COVID, and even though my husband eventually got laid off, I didn’t let it bother me. I simply thought to myself, “If we lose our house and have to move, then so be it.” I was totally stress free.
My baby girl was a few days overdue. I had a few Braxton Hicks contractions which I had never experienced before, so there were a few false alarms. One morning, I woke up feeling like I had period cramps, and I knew this was going to be the day. I went about my day normally, and called my mom at lunchtime to come over due to the contractions getting more intense.
I went in the bath around 1:30pm. It was a blown up pool from my birth keeper, but it was broken and my partner had to fix a couple of times prior to this day (we also had to purchase our own liner and other equipment). I was tracking my contractions for my partner while he was at work, and we kept getting notifications that it was time to go to the hospital (which was funny to me!)
I had previously read about clitoral stimulation for pain relief during contractions, and decided I was going to try it. The pain was getting to the point where I couldn’t manage on my own anymore. I told everyone to stay out of the bathroom so I could concentrate. It definitely 100% worked for taking the pain away! But only for a while. Eventually the contractions grew in intensity and nothing would help ease the pain.
The whole time I had a mantra in my head: Relax. Release. Open. I kept visualizing this and talking with my baby girl, saying, “C’mon down now. C’mon baby, I’m ready to have you.” I had affirmations all over the walls and around the tub, but this was my favorite. I repeated: Relax. Release. Open - Leaning into the birth and not resisting it.
I honestly don’t know how I ever gave birth without being in water. I felt my water break in the tub, which I never had happen naturally before. It was a gush of warm water –a really cool sensation. By this time, I had already called my mother in. I had been drinking tea and having honey for hydration to help keep my energy levels up. The contractions were extremely intense - I kept saying it was too hard and I can’t do it, but I still had a nice break in between contractions, which I had never experienced with the last 2 births due to being induced.
I started having really intense contractions and couldn’t remove the pain. I had an urge to poop, and knew what this meant. While I was on the toilet, I felt a POP, and knew right away that it was her head. I felt down there and her head was emerging. My husband was also in the room by this time. He said we needed to get to the pool, but I said "no, she is coming and I’m not moving". My mom said I can’t have her on the toilet, but I said "yes I am cause I’m not moving". My husband offered his arm to help me get up, and I turned around and yelled, “DON’T TOUCH ME!” (my mom later said when she heard this mean voice she knew the baby was coming). My mom ran to get a pillow and put it on the bathroom floor, but I thought to myself I did not come all this way to not have my baby in the water.
I don’t know how I did it, but I waddled over to the pool (which was in the bedroom) and swung my legs over the ledge. My mom said she had called the doula and “midwife” (AKA Birth Keeper) but they weren’t there yet. I had read a free birth book that recommended panting to help slow the head down and prevent tearing, so I said I would pant to slow her down. Once her head was out, I just thought “now what?”
My mom was freaking out a bit saying she could see the cord, so I had to stand up and look but there was no cord there. She kept freaking out and telling me to push, and I eventually had to tell her to “shut up” in a loving, daughterly way. Finally, I had another contraction, and my baby girl shot out of me so fast that I couldn’t catch her if I wanted to.
I noticed she was kind of limp and wasn’t coming to. I remembered seeing a video where a woman suctioned her baby’s mouth, and I didn’t even think twice. I just suctioned her mouth, and she started crying. I knew she was fine.
I was laying and holding her, and I heard the door ring - It was the doula and birth keeper. My husband told them that I had already had the baby (apparently they thought they had enough time to eat supper). The contractions continued more intensely, and within 20 minutes I birthed the placenta.
I laid there bonding and nursing my baby, and we did the cord burning ceremony.
The birth keeper turned our placenta into a powder and I took it in capsule form. She also turned it into a tincture that I use for period pains and can use later when I become menopausal.
Right now, I am still in my postpartum period, but it feels different. My baby had a few food sensitivities which we dealt with with a Naturopathic Doctor. Other than that, we bonded right away. I wanted her all the time. She is so attached to me, and I truly believe it was due to how we connected while she was in the womb. I love the connection between us! Although COVID prevented me from sharing my story the way I would have liked, or to show her off and have visitors, it was still amazing.
This experience was perfect.
It was exactly what I wanted.
Anonymous' story reminded me about intuitive pregnancies and birth, and how many women are trusting their bodies and doing this on their own. I am so excited to be reminded of these stories, and all of the ways women are giving birth around the world. Special thanks to Anonymous for sharing her stories the past 2 weeks! Stay tuned for the new stories coming out over the next several more. If you or anyone you know would like to share their birth story on this blog, please reach out to me directly via email at bluenile.massagetherapy@gmail.com.
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