LET'S NORMALIZE BIRTH: Orgasmic Birth In The Cosmos - Selena's Story
Oak Atlas Martins Birth Story.
41 weeks pregnant.
On May 30, at 2:43am I awoke to abdominal cramping. I smiled. Everyday I felt more and more ready to bring our starseed Earth side. As suggested from many Mamas before me: try to keep resting. I took a tylenol, and laid back down.
6:42 I awoke to more cramping, I got up and poured a bowl of cheerios. I felt a strong cramp then an urge to pee. I lost my mucus plug.
I finished my cheerios as I grabbed my journal “todays the day”. I felt every bit as excited, nervous, peaceful, calm, and curios.
I recited some of my affirmations “I feel strong. I trust and honour the strength of my body. I can have an orgasmic birth. The sensations are temporary. This experience brings me to my starseed. I am so excited to meet you.”
I took another tylenol and laid back down.
This was helpful, I slept until just after 10am.
“How are you Mama?”
“Todays the day,” I told Keegs with a smile.
We woke up slow and I began making a vegan turtles cheesecake 🤷🏼♀️.
Ate some lunch, and started doing some yoga on my mat. The constant cramping continued. I made miso soup to support hydration.
I went for a walk outside with Keegan, around 1pm and it was the first time I said “I think this is what they call a contraction”.
I felt frequent cramping, but occasionally, the cramp would be sharper, more intense. But still a lingering cramp in between.
Around this time I also started leaking, clear, yellow fluid.
After a couple hours of leaking, and the contractions becoming more indicated,
I called my midwife, Molly.
I should note- throughout pregnancy I tested positive for GBS. This is a gut bacteria that colonizes and tests positive in 25% of all healthy pregnancy. Molly requested if my waters broke to inform her, because without the amniotic fluid the bacteria can be more easily passed to the baby.
She had me lay down, roll to one side, then roll over to the other. Stand up, and do a jumping jack. Once we confirmed that did make me lose more fluids, she said she would call me back in a couple hours to see if it continued.
At 8pm, with continued slow leaking, she said she’d pack up and head to our place to make sure there was no meconium (baby bowel movement).
Molly arrived around 930pm.
During this time my contractions were picking up and I’d experience a wave every 3-7 minutes lasting anywhere form 30-90seconds. This inconsistency of contractions determined I was not yet in active labour. I felt best with my hands on the wall, swaying my hips as my birth playlist softly filled the room.
Molly laid down around 11:30pm, and said she’d set an alarm for 1:30am, this gave her a chance to nap. Keegs & I went into the bedroom, put on a cartoon, and he rubbed my feet before he dozed off.
Around 2am we determined I was now in active labour. My cervix had dilated nearly 4cm, contractions were very regular, and now I felt the urge to moan with each wave. A heat bag was my best friend for my low back.
When a contraction lasts for 1-2minutes, the ride is deceiving, you’re simply in it.
Molly called the EMS to have on standby, as they do for all anticipated homebirths. Safety is always number 1 priority.
I really loved Keegans support during this time. I didn’t need him doing anything, but I wanted him close to me.
A hot shower became a form of support, as did my exercise ball. I’d bounce at a steady rhythm and remain fairly silent with each wave. Molly said, “Are the contractions becoming more intense? I see a crease on your forehead you didn’t have before”.
This encouraged me, because I realized how well my breath had supported me so far. I told her the waves made me feel nauseous, and I wanted to scream, but at the same time, the silence felt better. The deep moans really helped for the next few hours. I read the deeper vibrations correspond to our root chakra. I told her about my kriya I had practiced & how the breath gave me strength.
I swayed to my music, and held my arms around Keegans neck.
Thankful for my mantras and affirmations that filled my gaze.
Kneeling on the bed, hands and knees was in intense, something felt progressive about it, but it was hard to surrender to the wave, as it passed the release into a soft child's pose or melting heart was a blessing.
Every half hour Molly confirmed Baby's heart-rate remained strong and steady, and every hour I got my temperature checked.
At 630am, after being in active labour for a few hours, we confirmed I was still 4cm dilated, Molly explained to me that although I had been leaking amniotic fluid, the water bag still sits low covering babies head not allowing for a further descend,
She gave me options.
She said we could break my waters at home, then wait to see if contractions increase. Once the water bag is totally broken, it was important to make sure baby wasn’t in Utero with no progress for too long again, so he wasn't affected by the GBS.
She said she felt comfortable staying home and waiting 1-2hrs to see if we made progress.
Or- we could go to the hospital and break
My waters, then I could receive oxytocin (increases contractions) with a guarantee of progress.
When your mind is in the cosmos its a little hard to make a decision because thoughts seem few & far between. This is when I was so so grateful for:
A- Mollys Support and always holding space for me. Every moment from the time I met her she always asked how any situation made me feel, she listened, and has never disregarded my feelings.
B- The books I read to gain knowledge of pros and cons for each situation.
She asked me what I was feeling, or what I may be afraid of.
I told her the car ride seemed very challenging (50minutes to the hospital)
And I was afraid that this may result in a C-Section. In my mind I thought if I couldn’t birth at home, that indicated something was wrong. This hospital has a 28% Cesarean rate, that's a pretty high number.
“You need to believe you can give birth vaginally.”
Molly spoke very softly and direct, telling me she will advocate for me, she’ll be there to deliver my baby, this did not mean anything was wrong, she is the guide through my birth experience,
It’d only be in a different location. She was there with me no matter what.
I asked if I could use the washroom before making a decision.
In that moment I started to lose a lot of fluid, I asked Molly to see what I was losing, I thought perhaps the Universe had broken my waters for me, it turned out there was now meconium,
Baby now had a bowel movement.
She put the ball in my court again, “would you agree the fluid looks different this time?”
“I think it may be of interest to transfer to the hospital,
How do you feel?”
I felt strong in her voice of being on my side. I felt safe. I felt baby was safe. I think its a good idea we transfer too. I was ready to progress his arrival.
We packed up, grabbed a pillow, my robe, our things, and started the drive. The drive was rough. I somehow managed to doze off between the contractions that occurred every 3-5minutes lasting for 60seconds each.
We arrived at the hospital at 8:04am.
After a heartbeat check, we broke the remainder of my waters, and started the oxytocin, this reeeally did move things along! I was 7cm dilated within an hour or two.
I remember this heavy set of contractions felt like I needed to orgasm. As if I was riding the peak of what it means to ‘climax’.
My eyes crossed, my elbows resting on the bed, and my feet rooted me to the Earth. The sensations were explosive. Surreal. I was beyond the physical body now, and the ‘contractions’ felt expansive.
“Are you experiencing a break between contractions?”
*Earth to Selena.*
I laughed, nooo.
To be honest in that moment I FORGOT I should be experiencing a break, I was simply in it!
I told Keegan a couple days after birth, that when the oxytocin kicked in, I felt like I was about to peak an orgasm, he said “I could tell. The sounds you were making really tripped me out”. He said they were familiar.
- look into orgasmic births, its a real thing-
From kneeling on the bed, to standing and swaying my hips, the waves had taken over. I was amongst the sea, my eyes closed, sometimes crossed, my mind in the cosmos, I was tired, “I feel defeated” I said out loud. “Why? You are making progress, we’re moving forward, you’re strong, you’re doing amazing, remember your affirmations, you’re going to meet your baby soon”.
“I’ve been doing this for a very long time”
Words of encouragement are a real medicine.
I’ve been awake for 24hrs since my cramps started, and active labour for 8hrs.
I whispered to Keegan “I cant do this”.
I didn't say it out loud because I knew the moment the words left my mouth I was lying. I could do this. Fatigue is real AF though. The tiredness is indescribable.
At this point One of Keegans hands was on me at all times, he gave me strength.
“Try laying down”
My eyes must have spoke for me, that sounded extremely uncomfortable & hard! “The first 2 contractions will be the most intense, then it will get better, you can do it” (again thanks for reading my facial cues Molly )
I laid on my side and Nurses began to cover me in warm blankets.
After those initial two contractions. I softened. I felt relaxed. The following contractions I started making different sounds, baby had shifted I could feel it, my tones were changing, “from your last 3 contractions, you sound like you’re ready to push, do you want me to check?” Yes. I was officially 9-10cm dilated.
“11:11 start pushing”
I loved this. 11:11. Through the gates of Heaven, the Cosmos were opening, come Earth Side my Starseed.
The first push felt amazing. Amazing!!!There's a release from just riding the wave to actually feeling like you’ve reached a milestone.
“Every mum deserves a golden ticket”. Initial words spoken after my first push..
Moving into different positions as necessary, we made progress.
He was on his way.
I’ll never forget the push when babies feet left my ribcage for the first time in months. Relief & disbelief at the same time.
At 12:30pm, pushing for over an hour, Molly informed me that babies heartbeat would drop after a push, then come back up. Each time the heart rate dropped, it would come back up. With this observation there was slight concern the heartrate would drop, and not come back up.
The Obstetrician spoke softly beside me, “baby is doing what I refer to as bungie jumping, where they descend, then go back up, descend, and go back up. While this is good progress, with the heartrate dropping, we were thinking we could use a vacuum. It is essentially a little suction. On your push, I would suction to baby, so that they wouldn’t go back up, I’d just hold them in place, we need to get baby to the other side of your pubic bone, then on your next push, we continue to make progress. Is this something you'd like to try?”
With my next push, the OB, Sally, said give me your hand, feel your babies head. I smiled & almost cried. “This is why you’re doing this!”
The suction was applied at 12:37, it burns!! as she circled her fingers around to make room “ITS GOING TOO” is all I heard back.
This was the first moment through any of this, I experienced ‘pain’. With Sallys long deliberate fingers, the tool is the only thing that caused me pain.
I know that interference can create more discomfort, applying this tool validated that for me.
In the moment, we do what we gotta do though!
Only 2 pushes later, his head emerged, the suction released, “Look down!” Again- strength pulsed through me!! (& the opposite for Keegan as he had to sit down )
Another push - look again! As I watched his body enter this world. 12:42pm.
He arrived. And all of a sudden the past 26hrs became a dream. Every moment lead me to this. He was laying on my chest.
“Do you know what you had?”
I laughed, smiled, cried, No .
Rolled him to his side, Its a boy .
Even in those moments all that mattered was this sweet starseed was on my chest alas.
We waited until his umbilical cord stopped pulsing, then Keegan has the honours of cutting the cord.
He laid on my chest, and naturally found the breast just after 1pm. I received my stitches and after an hour of 1 to 1 with Mama, they weighed and measured him.
22” long and 9lbs 13oz.
“Does he have a name? Can you introduce us?”
“This is Oak. Oak Atlas Martin.”
We only stayed at the hospital for 3hrs after delivery then headed home for our first night as a new family.
We’ve kept our placenta, with the intent of burying it & planting an Oak tree on top.
The entire experience was somehow the longest, yet quickest day of my life.
Thanks for being a part of our story.
This story is so full of light and magic, it's as if she had given birth in another galaxy! This mama consciously tapped into a power from another world and used her body as a portal to birth her baby into this world. By preparing for her birth spiritually, Selena accessed a divine power that connected to her to her experience in a magical way. Despite the sudden changes and moments of uncertainty, she ultimately trusted the process by being rooted in something greater than her physical experience. What a dreamy story! Thank you Selena for sharing your story with us today.
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